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Writer's pictureAJ Gonzalez

A.J. Reviews Super Bowl LVII (Plus A Cameo!)

Super Bowl LVII was a football clinic where one team won and one team lost. Ok, this first paragraph was written with about four minutes remaining in the second quarter. Also, Fox mentioned that Rihanna was the Halftime show at least five times at this point.


Right off the bat, Kevin Burkhart and Greg Olsen are going to be the NFL's top announcing team in a few years. Olsen actually knows what the hell he is talking about and reminds me of Kirk Herbstreit when he discusses a big play. He sounds like Herbstreit, also, which is weird. Breaking news: It turns out that Tom Brady might replace Olsen on the broadcast. Dumb move, Fox.


Did Fox really need to have Rob Gronkowski on their panel? He really didn't add anything to their banter and it seemed like everyone wanted to push him down our throats, because he went to the University of Arizona. And he missed the kick, but FanDuel customers still get money. Here is your participation trophy.


I have become a fan of Eagles head coach Nick Sirianni. He is pumped up when his team makes a big play and it shows the players buy into his system. Also, homeboy cried during the National Anthem. Got to love him.


Also, is that scan code going to appear on every commercial that Fox promotes, because its annoying.


Remember when the show after the Super Bowl was supposed to be the most happening event? Was the Simpsons too busy? Was Seth McFarlane counting his money to care? Nope, they went Gordon Ramsey probably screaming at people on another show. Also, Fox has a show where farmers meet their potential love interest. What cutting edge television this is! This is obviously sarcasm. Joel McHale is on a new show while he can assume the old Vince Vaughn role in his height of his career as being a sarcastic (bleep)hole in every show and movie he is in.


The Eagles didn't do the thing I wanted them to do in the second half: Blitz Patrick Mahomes and his bum ankle. Two years ago at the Super Bowl, Mahomes had problems with his ankle and the Buccaneers did everything to frustrate him and cause him to make a mistake. Philly had that on their platter and failed to execute that.


Andy Reid is one of the greatest head coaches in NFL history. The second half of that game went in Kansas City's favor due to the fact that Reid made adjustments on offense and had the offensive line play to their strength. They kept a defense with the third highest single season sack total in NFL history at bay. Also, he isn't afraid to put rookies in a rotation as long as they contribute.


The officiating was........a tad better than last year. Don't pat yourselves on the back, it was still garbage by NFL's standards. The Miles Sanders "fumble" that could have resulted in Nick Bolton's second recovery for a touchdown was challenged and called incomplete. Then the obvious play that changed the game. Okay, now before you rip my head off, watch it again. It was the right call. At first, I thought it was a pass interference call, but was holding. Again, the right call. James Bradberry even admitted that he held JuJu on the play. Now, everyone (mainly Eagles fans) are bitching and complaining that a penalty shouldn't decide the outcome of the game. Wasn't everyone up-in-arms at the non-pass interference play in the NFC Championship four years ago? By the way, it also DECIDED THE OUTCOME OF THE GAME! You are entitled to your opinion, but it was a penalty. Can't have it both ways.


I have some good news and bad news for this next segment.


The bad news is that I decided not to do a commercial or halftime show segment, because I wanted to focus on the actual game. The good news is that I found someone who would do it. It's our buddy, Joey Nevada!


(JN) So, the commercials this year were actually better than last year. Hollywood is in a state of boredom. Like watching paint dry boredom. Reboots, remakes and covers are the norm right now. Commercials are no different. "Hey everyone, let's go back to the 80's, 90's, and early 2000's to revive nostalgia since we have no other alternative" is what was brought up during discussions on the $7 million ads during the Super Bowl. Rakuten's ad with Alicia Silverstone was actually a bright spot for me, because of an ageless Alicia Silverstone. Blue Moon had a commercial that seemed to troll Miller and Coors, but it turns out that Miller/Coors owns Blue Moon. Jon Hamm and Brie Larson were in a Best Foods ad as "Hamm" and "Brie" while inside a refrigerator. Pete Davidson opens the fridge and says he was going to eat them. I guess he's everywhere now. Apparently, when you been with a Kardashian, you deserve some perks.


(A.J.) Hey!, you can't say that!


(JN) Will Ferrell doesn't have to be in a Super Bowl commercial every year. When his ad was on, I was like "(Bleep!), this guy again?" Also, Ben Stiller looks uncomfortable as Zoolander. You can tell in his facial expressions that he doesn't enjoy it. He's probably telling his agent "Geez, I have to play (bleep)ing Zoolander again? I have other characters you know."


(A.J.) Do you really have to cuss that much?


(JN) If there were positives, the T-Mobile spot with Bradley Cooper and his mother seemed organic and cool. The director probably said "We have no script for you, just go out there and talk like you were at lunch." The "Your Cousin From Boston" ads from Samuel Adams are so underrated and seem very funny in hindsight.


As for commercials as a whole, everyone is getting some creativity there, but their reliance on the past has everyone thinking that large corporations are spending $7 million just to get lazy with the presentation. STOP IT! Also, Burger King's jingle is garbage.


(A.J.) Have you been reading my posts again?


(JN) The halftime show was entertaining as Rihanna showed you why she is one of the best performers on the planet. She also revealed that she is pregnant with second child. Congrats to she and Mr. ASAP himself. Somewhere in Toronto, Drake is "In his feelings." See what I did there?


(A.J.) Ehh.


(JN) As a final thought, if everyone is still upset about not having a rock band in the halftime show, name one off the top of your head that can fill the void? Go ahead, I'll wait..........Need another moment?.........See what I mean. Also, it was reported that Rihanna wasn't even paid to do it and it was watched by more than 5 million viewers than the viewers watching the actual game. As they say, SMOKE ON THAT!


Back to you, A.J.


(A.J.) As I close this year's review of the Big Game, while watching the ever-long pregame show, Peter Schrager stated that in 2017, Chiefs GM Brett Veach wanted the coaching staff to take a look at this quarterback prospect from Texas Tech. Despite having Alex Smith on the roster, Veach pounded his fists to have them get this guy. In the draft, Kansas City did something they haven't done in decades: Draft a quarterback in the first round. Not only that, they traded from the bottom of the round to #10 to select him. With two championships and two Super Bowl MVP's under his belt, it seems as Brett Veach, Andy Reid and the rest of the Chiefs personnel were right along about this Patrick Mahomes fellow.


Again, Arizona turned out to be a great host and another epic Super Bowl game for the state. Must be something in the water in Glendale? See you next season as Super Bowl 58 ascends to Allegiant Stadium in Vegas as the Bears take on the Broncos!


Wait, is that what the NFL script says?


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