A.J. Reviews Super Bowl LIX

(Photo by Me)

I had some doubts about taking notes for this, but a lot of people liked last year's version. Despite a bad hangover (Thanks a lot, Firestone Walker 805), I decided to power through. So, without forever ado, here are some thoughts on Super Bowl LIX

-While watching the pre-show, they were interviewing Eagles GM Howie Roseman, and I thought it was Nick Sirianni.

-When you have to discuss the tunnel walk for both teams, then you have too much pre-game show.

-They are doing a tribute to Jimmy Johnson. Is he retiring or what is happening? I am so confused here. Trust me, I will be more confused later on.

-Lady Gaga had a great performance honoring the people lost in the NOLA New Year's attacks.

-It is Saquon Barkley and Cooper Dejuan's birthday today.

-Scarlett Johanssen is in a Jurassic Park movie. They are really milking this franchise, are they?

-Pat McAfee looks like my uncle in a commercial.

-A tribute to Virginia Halas McCaskey followed by a moment of silence.

-A man named Trombone Shorty is playing the Star-Spangled Banner. The lady doing the sign language is jamming to the music.

-Remember when the lights went out the last time the Super Bowl was there? No one has mentioned that.

-Chris Jones and Nick Sirianni are tearing up during the National Anthem.

-Tom Cruise is in another Mission: Impossible movie. They are really milking this franchise, are they?

-Eli Manning wins the Kick of Destiny. Hopefully, he sleeps well knowing he accomplished that.

-Cam Jordan does another tribute to the people effected by the New Year's attacks.

-Apparently, Cardinals owner Michael Bidwell is being used by a former assistant. What is it with sports owners in this town?

-Stitch is in a Super Bowl commercial. They are really milking this.....never mind.

-Tom Cruise does an awesome intro.

-They have shown Taylor Swift two times already.

-Dammit, the feed cut off on the TV, which explains the photo above. Time to switch to the laptop.

-Fox has new score graphics. Geez, I'm not that blind.

-The feed is back on for the TV, thank God.

-Travis Kelce came into the stadium dressed as That 70's Tight End.

-AJ Brown gets called for an offensive pass interference penalty on fourth down.

-The Affleck brothers, Bill Belicheck and his girlfriend are in a confusing Dunkin' Donuts commercial. Oh, snap, its Jay and Silent Bob! 90's nostalgia.

-Tom Brady has improved on commentary, somewhat.

-Why did Mahomes throw that into double coverage?

-PUNT GOD!

-Marvel has another movie coming, time to print some money!

-Orlando Bloom and Drew Barrymore are in a cruise commercial and Eugene Levy is in a Little Caesars ad featuring on his iconic eyebrows.

-Penalty on KC gives Philadelphia a first down.

-Brady says he doesn't like the two penalties.

-Juwan Dotson scores a touchdown, or does he?

-Now, Dan Levy, Eugene's son, is in a Homes.com commercial with Morgan Freeman.

-Chris Hemsworth and Chris Pratt are in a Rayban commercial because Avengers!

-The Cowboys are thinking about trading Micah Parsons. Fools!

-Three and out for KC.

-Why doesn't Doritos do a commercial for their taco flavored chips?

-William Dafoe and Catherine O'Hara are in a commercial for something, I wasn't paying attention. (Side note: It was for Michelob Ultra.)

-For the 18 millionth time, they remind us that Kendrick Lamar is the Halftime Show.

-Travis Kelce looks like Mr. Sad face on the sideline.

-Penalties: KC 2, Philly 1, the conspiracy theorists are losing it.

-Commercial about a guy tossing laptops.

-Some game show is after the Super Bowl. I'm surprised it wasn't another Gordon Ramsey joint.

-Adam Sandler, Paul Rudd, Pete Davidson, Paul McCartney and Kevin Costner are at the game.

END OF FIRST: Eagles 7, Chiefs 0

-Someone was on some heavy smoke thinking of this Mountain Dew commercial.

-Hurts throws an interception on the second play into the second quarter.

-Punt God is out for the third time.

-McConaghey is in a commercial where he's Mike Ditka and Peyton Manning. I think he's legit crazy.

-Daytona 500 next Sunday on Fox.

-The feed is off on the TV, will watch on laptop going forward.

-They remind us again that Kendrick Lamar is the halftime show.

-Jake Elliott kicks a 48-yard field goal. 10-0 Eagles.

-The stadium is singing Take Me Home, Country Roads by John Denver.

-The Eagles get back-to-back sacks. On the very next play, Cooper DeJuan scores on a pick-six. Once again, no mention of his birthday. 17-0 Eagles.

-Gordon Ramsey is in a commercial about him yelling out someone, I guess.

-Finally, they mention that is Cooper DeJuan's birthday.

-Kelce looks upset. Is it because he's posting a donut or because his snugglebug was booed?

-With over five minutes left, the Chiefs have only 18 yards passing.

-Punt God for the fourth time.

-A commercial about tongues, I'm so confused about this.

-Kellen Moore is probably in his last game as Eagles OC as he is rumored to be the Saints' head coach.

-Nick Bolton, what are you doing?

-That actor whose name escapes me is in a Dodge Ram commercial, three bears style. (Side note: Glenn Powell.)

-Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal recreate their scene from When Harry Met Sally with new Hollywood it girl and fellow Spokane native, Sydney Sweeney.

-Adam Brody is in a Pringles commercial where mustaches are flying off people's faces. First, eyebrows, now mustaches are flying off faces.

-Now three times they have shown Taylor Swift.

-Mahomes throws another interception, this time to Zack Baun.

-Hurts throws a touchdown to AJ Brown, who was angry earlier on the sideline. 24-0 Eagles.

-A commercial that features Mrs. MVP, Hailee Steinfeld and Wanda Sykes about breast cancer detection.

-This is a replay of the Super Bowl four years ago against Tampa Bay. Chiefs killing themselves with penalties and dealing with a defense that is willing to bring the noise and the funk.

-Five times for Punt God.

HALFTIME: Eagles 24, Chiefs 0

-So much for the referees letting KC get the advantage.

-They are airing that Channing Tatum commercial that I have seen at least 500 times.

-Kelce is walking into the locker room with a look of bewilderment.

-Mahomie only has 33 passing yards in the first half.

-Apparently, Angel Soft is demanding me to go to the bathroom.

-Samuel L. Jackson is wearing an Uncle Sam outfit since his name is Sam. Get it?

-KENDRICK IS DOING THE SONG! He's got em! I got nothing. Also, no Money Trees?

-They have people sitting on top of faux light poles. Don't get any ideas, Eagles fans.

-The soon-to-be ex-Brown Myles Garrett, Marshawn Lynch and Pat McAfee are in an ad about girls' flag football.

-What the (bleep) was that Tubi commercial? Flesh cowboy hats?

I'm going off script here and wondering, did all of these people decide to get in a room to discuss their idea for commercials and thought it was brilliant to get either drunk or other stuff because some of these are just weird. Too (bleep)ing weird.

-23 total yards for Kansas City, mind is blown.

-Opening drive is a flop for Los Chiefs, Josh Sweat has 2.5 sacks in this game.

-Sixth time for Punt God.

-McConaughey and Woody Harrelson are in a commercial about something.

-A graphic shows that a :30 second ad costs $8 million. Imagine spending $8 million on trash.

-Saquon makes a great bobbling catch to Philly inside the red zone.

-Chiefs have only 38 total yards with 5:49 left in the third quarter.

-A commercial about potatoes, American farmers and Lay's chips. No BS, straight to the point.

-Chris Jones suffers a non-contact knee injury. Hopefully, it's nothing serious.

-Andy Reid looks miffed now. I bet the Eagles are enjoying beating up on their former coach.

-Jake Elliott kicks a field goal, 27-0 Eagles.

-De'Andre Hopkins has his first catch in the game. He dropped a catchable pass earlier in the contest. This is De'Andre Hopkins that we are talking about.

-Patrick is trying his best to keep the Chiefs afloat.

-Kelce gets his first reception with over three minutes left in the third.

-Eagles stop the Chiefs on fourth down.

-Devonta Smith scores on a long touchdown pass, 34-0 Eagles. In the sports world, this is what we call a blowout.

-Maybe the Chiefs should cause the lights to go out in the Superdome.

-Mahomes throws a long pass to Xavier Worthy for their first trip inside Eagles territory.

-Worthy catches a touchdown to stop the shutout. 2-point conversion failed, 34-6 Eagles.

-Kevin Hart and Anne Hathaway are at the game.

END OF THREE: Eagles 34, Chiefs 6

-Jake Elliott drills another 48-yard field goal, 37-6 Eagles.

-Harrison Ford is in a Jeep commercial. Apparently, a Jeep makes him happy.

-Vic Fangio, the Eagles defensive coordinator, deserves the Super Bowl MVP.

-Eagles get a strip sack and recover the fumble ending any hopes of a comeback.

-While doing this, I want to take this opportunity to thank Hubie Brown for his contributions in the NBA. He announced his final game earlier in the day at the young age of 91. Enjoy retirement, Hubie.

--Elliott kicks a 50-yard field goal, 40-6 Chiefs, just kidding, Eagles.

-David Beckham and Matt Damon are in a Stella Artois commercial where they are brothers.

-They show the 2025 Hall-of-Fane class minus Sterling Sharpe.

-Kelce has four catches now and they only shown Taylor three times.

-Xavier Worthy has six catches for 100 yards and a touchdown.

-Tom Brady is mumbling on for minutes about something.

-It's Charlie Day's birthday also.

-Chiefs escape disaster by having an interception erased by penalty. Actually, no, they are down by 34.

-JuJu Smith-Schuster gets called for OPI. Payback for what happened two years ago.

-De'Andre Hopkins scores a touchdown to cut the deficit to twenty-eight. Two-point conversion good, 40-14 Philly.

-Time for Pat Riley to take back "Three-peat."

-Who cares what color the Gatorade is?

-Some big-muscled doofus is impersonating Macho Man Randy Savage in a commercial with Antonio Banderas.

-Lady Gaga is more excited here than she was last year.

-Worthy ran past two defenders to score a 50-yard touchdown. Two-point conversion is good, 40-22 Eagles.

-Just waiting for the seconds to go down.

-Kenny Pickett, Super Bowl champion. Who would have thought that?

-Fly, Eagles, fly, don't climb on light poles, Philadelphia.

The Philadelphia Eagles win their second Super Bowl in franchise history. The defense forced Patrick Mahomes to scramble when he didn't want to. Six sacks, two interceptions and a forced fumble while Josh Sweat accounted for six tackles and 2.5 sacks. Despite containing Saquon Barkley, the Chiefs couldn't contain Jalen Hurts, who was the Super Bowl MVP with two passing touchdowns and one rushing touchdown. Xavier Worthy tried as he must with over 100 yards receiving and two touchdowns. Philly fans, it's time to give Nick Sirianni the credit that he deserves. The Eagles dominated from the opening kickoff.

Well, there you go. See you next year for Super Bowl LX in Santa Clara.

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